Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
