Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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