i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
