Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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