okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
