That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize