I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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