i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
