party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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