Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize
