So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
