he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
