We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
