apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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