ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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