I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
