Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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