His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
