Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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