hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
