She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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