its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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