You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize