who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
