Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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