i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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