There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
