we're blogging at a bar
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
