Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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