all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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