***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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