Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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