im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
