Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
