Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
