Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dignity is for republicans.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
