as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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