oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
