I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I love you. Go after that dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
