going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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