I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
