I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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