Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
