don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
