Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
