Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
