Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
