Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
