hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
