like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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