why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
