I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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