The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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