there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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