i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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