Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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