so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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