I want to have your abortion
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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