I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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